Gesundheit

Hey lady; In case you’re wondering, though I know you’re not, that little button on the arm of your airline seat is kind of the ultimate evil you can perform on an airplane without getting arrested for terrorism. Sure, you can go ahead and press it, propelling your seat back into the tiny and ever dwindling space the airline has left the person behind you. Chances are you’ll knock over, damage, or destroy whatever that person has on the tray table in the process.

Hey, it’s all about you though right? So go ahead and ram your head into that strangers lap. We’ll disregard that as the airline has forced more and more seats into the already overcrowded plane ( notice how the rows don’t line up with the windows anymore?) even they don’t expect anyone would be intrusive enough to to push their seat back into someone’s airspace like that. They left the button in place assuming no one would be that asinine.

Oh, nice, you’ve even found a way to make more of an ass of yourself . Brilliant! So not only is your seat resting in my lap, but you feet at pushed under your chair (you know, that spot where the passenger behind you is supposed to put their carry on or their feet) you’ve managed to complete your space invasion agenda. Right down to the dirty looks you throw back every time my foot in its attempt to exist in its space touches yours.

None of those things are the real reason I find myself contemplating ways to stick gum in your hair though. That has to be the fact that as soon as you knocked everything off of my tray table in your need to recline as a true princess should, you leaned forward. So now your posture is shit, the seat is in no way touching your back or supporting you, and you have no reason for it to be in in my lap.

That is why I won’t cover my mouth when I sneeze.

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