So, I’m watching tv shows (yeah I know, what an inspiring and original thing to do) but it occurs to me that what rings so false about the shows I’m watching is how supportive everyone is in these shows. Either a person in a tv show is an antagonist and just plain evil, or they are there for emotional, physical, or spiritual support of the main characters. It’s just the way the TV universe works, and it seems absolutely contrived and false.
It makes me wonder though, why is that. Is it the people we choose to surround ourselves with? Do we just find ourselves attracted to those who are as sarcastic and burned out by the world as we are? Do we really only gather a group of “friends” that reflect our own surety that everyone is just out for their own best interest?
Is it the people we are forced to associate with? Work, or other social obligations tend to put us in constant contact with people who are just so tired of trying and failing that they reflect our own negative views of the universe and in many ways by their nature reinforce them.
Or, maybe, is it just a reflection of who we choose to be? A large part of human evolution, part of what makes us the dominate species, is our innate ability to reflect the actions and behaviors or others. We copy things, it’s what we as a species do best. We copy the actions of our friends, our parents, other animals, nature. We do it without even thinking.
Early man saw another animal bludgeon another into submission with its horns. Creating safety and dominance. We created a club and did the same, achieving both safety and food. That Neanderthals children copied that and then improved upon it. Creating better clubs, spears, and eventually arrows. We dominated our planet because we had a natural tendency to copy and then improve upon the creatures around us.
We still do this, it’s our nature. When faced with competition we find ways to compete. When faced with violence, we either find a way to fight back, or escape. It keeps us alive; it keeps us safe, it keeps us progressing as a species.
I wonder though. Have we forgotten that it’s not just the negative stimuli that we respond to? that we, by our nature, emulate? If we act with kindness to another, they feel not just inclined but, in some way, obligated to respond with kindness of their own. If we defend, console, teach, validate, or simply accept another person, do we not know at a visceral level that chances increase that they will do the same for us when we need them. We will need them, in time.
So if you’re watching “Friends” or some other show that just simply looks like a world that is completely out of touch. Maybe it would be best to wonder if it really is, or if it’s just not possible in the world we have created for ourselves. Maybe, just maybe, we can decide to start creating the world we long for, but just can’t believe in. It just takes one kind word or a few moments of really listening to another person to begin.
Maybe, just maybe, by holding out a hand. Not to hold another back but to help them up, we can begin in a small and effortless way, to create the world that we love to watch on TV but never believed could really exist. Maybe our impossible fantasy world is just a matter of the 20 pounds of pressure required for a hug given to a person who really needs it.